Years of shame, years of liberation

In our journey through life, we encounter good days, months and years and bad ones too. There are days when one is proud of one’s deeds and achievements and days when one is ashamed and disgusted. I have experienced such changes in my life perhaps much more than many others.

Through life, there may be events such as loss of loved one’s and trauma. In some cases the trauma can be severe. An older note in this blog described how when a young girl faced one such trauma, her mother rushed her to a psychiatrist. Thus began a regime of modern psychiatric drugs, dependence on them, a compromised existence because of it, and years of loss for a young productive life. Fortunately, on sound counsel, this lady has escaped from this and returned to a bright active life, albeit with reduced energies for after effects of strong chemical agents can continue for some years. Some never do escape just as some never recover from a dependence on opioids when they reported to a callous doc for an episode of pain, often ending in the grave from an overdose. Thousands die that way currently in America where the drug industry seemed to have gone gaga over the opiod profits that rolled in. Just a nice drink of brandy and a good sleep followed by some days of loving care or spending time in green nature would have helped the young lady mentioned overcome her trauma in days or weeks, just another non-addicting pain killer would have saved many of the thousands of lives that are dropping like flies in America from opioid overdoses.

In my own family, influenced by European customs, my mother would encourage us at times to have a drink before going to bed to overcome the sorrows, life can throw at one from time to time. Thus in my own life when I faced some severe distress around the nineties I resorted to a drink often and similarly around the year 2000 too. There is a dark side to treating distress through alcoholic drinks. One may develop a habit, dependence, progressing to addiction and finally end up under a truck on the roadside or in some other trouble as a result of it. To prevent such sad outcomes, the family had rules – never drink when alone, do not drink before dark, pour a drink from a measure, limit the amount etc.

In parts of traditional India, the use of alcohol to overcome distress and trauma has not been common but another herbal agent was available easily – cannabis. It could be smoked or processed into a drink called Bhang ghota that some took at such moments, went to sleep to wake for a better day, for every new day is a new beginning with its own magic. However, some decades ago under American pressure, India has made cannabis illegal. Now some resort to alcohol, that too of a cheap quality, without the benefit of education in its controlled use and may end up destroying their lives in many a case. Some are averse to alcohol or it too is prohibited in their areas. A rural Indian farmer that most Indians are then may commit suicide if the distress is a severe one that they feel they cannot handle. Reports of this happening appear in media from time to time.

Returning to my own life, despite all my family and other education I too did not escape evils of alcohol. Unfortunately, for seven years from 2000 to 2007 its consumption increased gradually until a severe dependence developed on it. Much alcohol can easily ruin one’s health, mind and behavior and I too did not escape some of these effects. Some of the days of my worst and riskiest behavior in life were under the influence, when one is not fully in control of one’s mind and senses. If I was prevented from any grave harm as a result, it was only from the love of God. Fortunately my strong spiritual background helped me drop the habit the moment I realized the damage it was doing more than 11 years ago , in September 2007. When I look back, I feel ashamed at those moments. Nevertheless, there was much learning through this experience too that I have been able to share with others and hopefully help them, even as I do in this very note. It is through difficulties a human learns most.

Dear friends, all of us have our strengths and weaknesses. It is the purpose of life and its experiences to weed out the weaknesses. This begins with admitting to our self what these weaknesses are, not trying to justify, rationalize or hide those weaknesses. It is only after we have recognized our weaknesses that there is hope of overcoming them. Quiet reflection helps in this process for it is only by being still that we may know ourselves not by rushing around from one thing to another as some do.

One does not have to do anything special to strengthen one’s good side. That automatically prevails when weaknesses are diminished for at the very core of all life is a soul from God that is infinitely brilliant. To reach that state is the goal of all life, whether it takes one life or many in our journey through the universe.