Age and Happiness
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| Photo from Home of Dr. Ashok Malhotra, July 2013 |
An aging friend of mine was commenting on how much fun it
was to indulge in romantic episodes, something that youth and younger persons usually
enjoy. My response was that personally I do not care for that sort of thing
much now, although it was a pursuit for sure when I was younger.
One finds that from childhood to old age, what fascinates
one most in life changes and that is how it should be. It is rather silly to
see old men like Rupert Murdoch romancing. It is business persons quite often who go in for
that sort of thing even in old age perhaps because they feel that now that they
have the money they should do something of value with it or perhaps because they
were so busy in the pursuit of wealth in their younger days that they did not
get time to enjoy lunch, when it was lunch time and are now having to partake
of some very late in the night, metaphorically speaking. ( there is a story about that in this blog at http://someitemshave.blogspot.in/2010/10/in-pursuit-of-happiness.html) It is not only silly
but is often also damaging, physically, psychologically and spiritually when a
human indulges in a pleasure inappropriate for his or her age.
Reading story books fascinated me when I was a child. As a
young man I was fascinated by travel and I pursued that to my hearts content
traveling from one end of the world to the other. At around forty five or so I
suddenly found that travel does not excite me any more and can in fact be
rather tiring.
Now past sixty, two of the things that have given me most
pleasure (aside from educational, spiritual, philanthropic and philosophical
pursuits) are interacting with a grand child or communing alone in silence with
nature –flowers, trees, birds, lakes, forests, rivers and mountains. Over here
in India
one does not have to go far for that during the monsoon season. Even a home
garden can fill up with flowers and green as the photo shows. I snapped it this
morning.
UPDATE: July 29, added a link in the post today that goes deeper into the topic of happiness in general . This one: http://someitemshave.blogspot.in/2010/10/in-pursuit-of-happiness.html
It is must read for anyone who wishes to acquire a deeper understanding between the relationships of happiness to love and money.
UPDATE: July 29, added a link in the post today that goes deeper into the topic of happiness in general . This one: http://someitemshave.blogspot.in/2010/10/in-pursuit-of-happiness.html
It is must read for anyone who wishes to acquire a deeper understanding between the relationships of happiness to love and money.
Comments
All I wanted to say was to do with the latter; that this is an area where long-standing cultural differences between East and West may persist, because they are deep-rooted. Change in attitudes happens faster in the West, partly because tradition is less revered, and partly because of technological advances.
I think the attitudes are profoundly different and it is impossible to examine one strand of life on its own, or judge one culture from the viewpoint of another.
Having said that, it’s interesting to try. For my part I’ve started to read The Satanic Verses, which I understand remains banned in India, for the light it shows on the East-West divide and also to give me a deeper understanding of Islam from a more broad-minded perspective than one can usually find.
I’m surprised to find that it’s a most entertaining and absorbing book, as well as helping me understand traditional Indian attitudes and how they evolve in the hothouse of modern life, e.g. the world of Bollywood & wealthy classes.
A result of advanced education is that one does not remain rooted in any one cultural mode of thought but develops one's own unique one's.
The East-West difference is enormous and the gap is seldom crossed, amongst these people. Their culture is deeply ingrained and those who have lived here 60 years are the most conservative of all, yet their attitudes are passed down to their great-grandchildren - even though you would think they would bring disadvantage.
Yes, I know you spent several decades under the influence of an Eastern Guru and also must be influenced by a spouse from a vastly different cultural background.
However, as I said what I write and think and live is something that is beyond these different cultural worlds. Such differences do not interest me. They are superficial to humanity and subject to change with influence. I steer clear of them.
What interest me is fundamental to life and humanity in general, combining in it the best of many different worlds, or at least I hope so and attempt to achieve through constant learning and improvement from across the world.
Yes, I know you spent several decades under the influence of an Eastern Guru and also must be influenced by a spouse from a vastly different cultural background.
However, as I said what I write and think and live is something that is beyond these different cultural worlds. Such differences do not interest me. They are superficial to humanity and subject to change with influence. I steer clear of them.
What interest me is fundamental to life and humanity in general, combining in it the best of many different worlds, or at least I hope so and attempt to achieve through constant learning and improvement from across the world.
Perhaps my attitude is best viewed in the design of the Garden in the photo of this post, every leaf and bit of path, every brick is entirely my own choice and imagination, generously augumented by Mother Nature as always. Perhaps we should invite Keiko Amano to comment on the cultural aesthetics of it she being an expert in this sort of thing also from an across the world experience and attitude.
Thank you for this invitation. I've read both arguments and enjoyed it.
First, I believe Salman Rushdie married multiple times. He is 66 and his either wife or girlfriend is about 30. So, according to Vincent's theory, his writing probably reveals the POV of West even if the author made the narrator speaking in the POV of East.
Second: "Such differences do not interest me. They are superficial to humanity and subject to change with influence. I steer clear of them." Subject to change with influence is so human. I'm sure Vincent had gone through it. So, with good influence, Ashok could fall in love in any minutes if right person happens to pass by on his road and drop her handkerchief!
It's true that my neighbours are not well-educated, but even the highly educated Asians I know have a split life: they can think and act as Britishers, say, when in that company and when the occasion demands it, but think and behave otherwise in the company of relatives. I don't speak of yourself and I recognize there are exceptions.
Actually my wife is of the same cultural background as myself, though she spent her first fifty years in Jamaica. We were brought up to have a knowledge of the Bible, without either of us being Christians, and practise the same standards of law-abiding decency. Jamaica was a British colony till 1963 and the influence runs deep, though since then there are American influences too, as so many Jamaicans went to the States to work, and came back.
In my many years with the Guru, I felt as you do, that the differences between East and West have been transcended. But it was a special case, a culture of its own, based on a certain kind of Indian-ashram culture from which the Indian elements were progressively washed out.
But I am sceptical about your idea of "combining ... the best of many different worlds"; mainly because I think the whole notion of "best" is a matter of individual choice. For myself, the older I get, the happier I am to be English, though I am technically an immigrant.
Wow! Thank you for letting me know that you took a Japanese lesson. I'm so delighted.
Your Japanese pronunciation is marvelous. "itchi, knee, san, yawn" sounds absolutely hilarious. Whatever it takes is the way to learn. Let me know about your progress time to time. Maybe, you can establish a revolutionary way to learn the Japanese language. Smiles.
Keiko
I love your comment
"Ashok could fall in love in any minutes if right person happens to pass by on his road and drop her handkerchief!"
and believe it to be true :)
Look at issues without any such bias, on their own merit, particularly now in the modern world where it may not apply at all, and mislead you.
I am glad you have been able to do it as far as K is concerned for a start and also glad you regard yourself as British because your passport says so even being an Aussie from down under genetically who has experienced and lived with a variety of cultures.
However, when it comes to things like food preferences for guests/friends I still make use of their cultural background rather successfully and if Keiko were to visit me here I would offer her a bowl of steamed rice with a few more of Tempura, stir fried chicken in soy sauce and ginger and a bowl of green salad
For you Vincent we shall have a breakfast of bacon and eggs, a lunch of sandwiches and a dinner of a roast crown of lamb with some potatoes and steamed peas (for which no spoon shall be provided) followed by a desert of cherries and strawberries in custard
In my case though using my national identity as revealed by my passport for guessing my food preferences will badly mislead and a fare from the 'Bull and Butcher' near Piss hill might be much better :)
I have posted on my FB timeline as follows.
My blogger friend, Vincent, has given me this idea. He said he has gone to a Japanese language class for beginners and learned to count one to ten. I thought his method of pronunciation interesting. For people who still have problems in remembering the Japanese numbers, here it is although I've edited a little.
"itchy, knee, son, yawn, go, lock, nana, hatch, queue, ju."
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Then, Tsunematsu san added his comment. I recommend him to you, Vincent. He is the owner of Natsume Sohseki Museum in London. Why don't you go there and meet him and then tell me about the meeting? That'll be fun.
https://www.facebook.com/tsune.sammy
I'll post some other pictures of that day.
Sorry, I don't really know how to use Facebook to join that conversation with Sammy.
click here
Ashok, without this post, we would have missed this great topic. I appreciate your blog.
That's a great move!
I wonder what your new grandchild's name will be. If the baby is boy, how about Ashok?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zelkova_serrata
About the story of your naming your daughter to Keya, are you going to write about it? You probably told her about it, but when you write, your descendants will enjoy reading it perhaps forever. I certainly like to hear about it.
Her older sister was born about a year a half before her in January 1981. Her name was suggested by my mother as Ketaki and everyone liked that name. It was instantly finalized. Ketaki is an ancient name in Sanskrit of a flower of the Himalayan region. Therefore when it was time to choose the name of her younger sister we looked for the name of another flower beginning with K. In many parts of India they consult astrologers to choose the first letter of the name but our family does not follow that practice. We researched but could not find a suitable flower that begins with K. Then we began looking at other baby names and narrowed down on a few names. Already a few months had passed and finally we decided it was high time to give Keya a name. Until then we called her Choti Moti - the small fat one - At the last minute a colleague of mine from Eastern India mentioned that Keya too is a flower and some persons have that name in eastern India. We immediately liked the name for its sweetness and simplicity. However, because we had already chosen three other names, I came up with the decision that it is best that we leave the final choice to the Universal intelligence.
I devised a method for ascertaining that. I had with me a collection of silver coins from British India from different minting years. We picked up four with different mint years, a name against each mint year. After that we visited a temple in the neighborhood on a Tuesday, the auspicious day for that temple. It was a temple dedicated to the Hindu God Hanuman. After performing the entrance ceremonies we asked Ketaki to choose a coin from the four selected silver coins. The chosen coin had a name corresponding to Keya and therefore Keya was determined as the choice of the Universal intelligence.
Jai Hanuman! means praise the god Hanuman
Thank you for the wonderful story! So, Ketaki is some kind of flowers in Sanskrit, and Keya is also a flower, perhaps in east India. Japanese named the golden yellow flower to Yamabuki seems to have a connection in naming flowers.
Because you have written this story, I think your children and grandchildren will enjoy it. Then, later, their children and grandchildren and so on. Pretty soon all the women's name might start by "K" like Ketaki, Keya, K of Vincent's wife, and Keiko! We never know!